Sometimes, when my pump runs out of insulin, I just keep doing what I’m doing, ignoring the warning beeps. I might ignore it for 10 minutes, or an hour, or longer. Sometimes, I just don’t want to be bothered.
I haven’t tested my BG regularly in weeks. I’m afraid of the numbers. And I know it’s a losing battle right now. I don’t have the energy to make the change. And I’m disappointed in myself for it all.
I had to grow up when I was 8. Everyone still tells me “You need to grow up” and “it’s your responsibility” and “if you don’t take care of yourself, you could die”. I don’t want to grow up this fast. I never wanted to grow up this fast.